So Long....Farewell.....I LOVE to say GOODBYE!

Dear 2010,
 You have given me 365 days. Some good...some bad...and the other days I just wasn't sure how to feel about you. I have given it much thought, and I have come to the realization that it's time to say good bye. I look at our time together as a game of basketball game. I played a lousy first half (January-June)...I fumbled...I fell for the same fake tricks here and there, and sometimes it felt like I was blind passing. Half time came around...coach called us in a huddle...upon hearing his words being spoken a fire was lit in me. I wanted to do better...no more slacking. So for the second half of the game I did my best. There were times where even I thought I wasn't going to be able to make it, but my side of the bleachers were filled with amazing people who constantly cheered for me even when I didn't know what I was doing.

There will be days I will look back at you and say "I wish I had done this differently...or maybe if that didn't happen", but the truth of the matter is it all happen, and you taught more than ever that I needed to trust in my father above all. I have high hopes for 2011 and I. I think we are going to be a better fit.I also think this is going to be a better opportunity for me to keep cultivating my relationship with my heavenly father. Dear 2010...thanks for ALL the GREAT memories...thanks for teaching me some amazing lessons...above all thank you for making me a stronger and better person.

Sincerely Signed,
JLK

Dive For Dreams

E.E. Cummings

dive for dreams
or a slogan may topple you
(trees are their roots
and wind is wind)
trust your heart
if the seas catch fire
(and live by love
though the stars walk backward)
honour the past
but welcome the future
(and dance your death
away at the wedding)
never mind a world
with its villains or heroes
(for good likes girls
and tomorrow and the earth)
in spite of everything
which breathes and moves, since Doom
(with white longest hands
neating each crease)
will smooth entirely our minds
-before leaving my room
i turn, and (stooping
through the morning) kiss
this pillow, dear
where our heads lived and were.

if, out of not knowable

silently if, out of not knowable
night's utmost nothing,wanders a little guess
(only which is this world)more my life does
not leap than with the mystery your smile
sings or if(spiralling as luminous
they climb oblivion)voices who are dreams,
less into heaven certainly earth swims
than each my deeper death becomes your kiss
losing through you what seemed myself,i find
selves unimaginably mine;beyond
sorrow's own joys and hoping's very fears
yours is the light by which my spirit's born:
yours is the darkness of my soul's return
-you are my sun,my moon,and all my stars 

YOU TENSE!!! RELAX!!!

Like MOST females I too enjoy getting a nice manicure and pedicure whenever my time and budget allows. In fact, I got to get one yesterday after almost two months. Usually when I'm getting a manicure, and they are about to trim my cuticles the manicurist lightly taps my hands, and say these words "RELAX!! RELAX!!" I of course want to punch them when I hear those words because I wouldn't be so tense if I didn't know what was about to happen. You see for some odd reason every manicurist I get loves to cut me. I mean it's practically a blood bath each time I get my hands done. So when they get to that point where I know there are headed for my cuticles I get super tense, and ready to pull my hand back if it even remotely looks like they are going in too deep. Of course no matter how much I tense up or look at them paranoid I got cut. The funny thing is I never stopped getting a manicure, even after I lost count of the times I have been cut. I'll usually go back to the same place until eventually I find a new place I am willing to try. Every time I go into the new place I go in high hopes that this is the place that won't cut me. As I sat in my manicurist station yesterday I noticed that I was half as tense as I would be usually. This was my second time visiting this place, and I was impressed with their work and to top it off I didn't get cut. As I apprehensively sat in the station I noticed that even though I thought she was going to get me she never cut me so I was able to relax a bit more and enjoy the experience (KIND OF!!!!)



All of got me thinking why is it that for the past 6-7 years whenever I got a manicure and I got cut every single time I went back for manicure. It never stopped me from trying it over and over again...however, when we get hurt by people (emotionally) we totally shut off any other possibility. Why is that? Why does a manicure get more chances than someone with real feelings and emotions? See the thing I learned from getting manicures is this...getting cut is inevitable...sometimes its their fault...sometimes its ours...and sometimes its just a lack of experience.  However, that should never stop you from trying it again, and again, and AGAIN!. Because if I never tried different places, and people I would never have found the place I have found, and I would just be walking about with jacked up nails. The same principal and concept applies when it comes to giving people chances and meeting new people. Don't let one bad experience stop you from trying something new, somewhere new, and with someone new.

Thanks to every manicurist who ever cut me :-)

Child like faith

I recorded this back in November, but just thought about posting it. I hope it makes sense...lol it made perfect sense when I had the thought process...

Falalala The Holidays!!!

HAPPY HOLIDAYS!!!!My mother of course had to bust in my room half way through....ohhh family...how we love them

To Weave or Not To Weave...

It's no secret that I don't know a thing about weave. I know some names, but outside of that I am totally clueless. I feel a bit ignorant, because I was at a Historically Black University for over four years, attend a majority black church, my hair stylist/aunt is black...and so is mostly everyone I associate with in Houston including my Houston side of the family. Well I'm not 100% clueless while driving to Dallas from Houston I got a crash course on weave 101 thanks to my girl Whitney. I think for the most part everything I have wanted to do with my hair I have done in the past decade from color to cut. There are two more things I want to do...one is get a faux-hawk and the other is try weave. I have legit reasons for wanting to try weave it is not to fit in or anything like that and my reasons are as follows:

• Take some stress of my hair (heat, blowing drying. styling...etc)
• Try a new hair style before I totally chop off my hair

Ok that's all I got, but HEY! They are legit reasons...I just feel like my hair would really appreciate the break from my flat iron, while I do it to someone else's hair (probably from India). Well the hair cut I want is a pretty drastic change my semi long locks that I have been sporting for over a year now.

Current Hair Length

Hairstyle I want to convert too

As you can see that's a big change...so I would like a live demonstration prior to getting the actual hair cut on what it will look like on me and how I would cope with having such a short do after not having it that short since 2005. Well here's my reservation...I feel like people might make fun of me for taking "the black girl thing" too far. I'm quite often mistaken for being mixed with black (Side note: after watching a 6 hour documentary on India it's quite possible that down the line it is very possible), and sometimes I just go along with it, but I don't want to do something that could cause someone to write a rant about how their culture is being exploited like I did couple of entries ago. So here it is...to weave or not to weave....yes it's something I have wanted for a while now, but how offensive would it, and would people think I am just trying to be someone I am not...(make sense?)

Happy Birthday Dejah

Well I don't know how to describe my relationship with Dejah. Sometimes I say she is my sister other times I say she is my sisters' daughter, and sometimes I act like she is my daughter. Well this past weekend we went out to celebrate her 14th birthday. I just can't believe little Dejah is 14. I met her when she was 9 years old with pig tails, and now she has grown into beautiful young teenager. Well we went to Kemah just to enjoy rides, and the company around us and here are a few shots. 

The Birthday Girl

Oh Lord WHY!!!!!

Her Bff

Laughing at their counter parts

The BFF's

Dear Lord, if you get me thru this...

Nooooo!!!

Ohhh NO!! Is it too late?

Oh Jesus

If we hold hands we'll be okay

I stole a little moment to myself...

A little crack never hurts

A thousand times I've failed
Still your mercy remains 
And If I stumble again
I'm caught in our grace
Everlasting, Your light will shine 
When all else fails 
Neverending, your glory goes 
Beyond all fame

In the beginning of this year my flat iron of 5 years went to flat iron heaven. Lucky for me one of my girl friends had spend the night and I got to use her flat iron for the next morning, and my aunt is an hair stylist so I could borrow one of hers till I get my own. So as I stood around the bathroom talking to her about the next flat iron I would invest in I asked her opinions on her Chi iron. She started telling me about how she loved it, and how one time when she was over at her dad's house she dropped it on his floor, and it cracked. She thought for sure the flat iron would never work again, but to her surprise and in her words "it's never worked better". It kind of got me started on a thought process about  the type of people God uses in his kingdom to advance it. For example, Moses he was darn near convinced he couldn't save his people because he has a stuttering problem. Or Saul (Paul) who was out to persecute Christians, but ended up being one of the most radical people for Christ. See all these people had a little crack in them, and like my friend thought that was the end of it for her iron society probably never gave them a second glance. I mean why would they? They had other people who could speak better than them, probably knew the word of God inside and out, and probably could speak in Greek, Hebrew, Latin, Pig Latin...you name it they probably knew it. But as the old adage goes "God doesn't call the qualified, he qualifies the called"


Above is one of my favorite lyrics to date because it truly shows God for who he is. What is GRACE? Simply put Grace is unmerited favor or God's Redemption At Christ Expense. Grace is knowing that you can look at your past and not be ashamed of it. I thank God for covering my past with his Grace even on thinks I never asked to be covered. I thank God for all the little cracks in my life that he's going to use for HIS glory one day.

A Beach In Every Sylvan

My church is located 5 minutes away from a beach. Now most people would get excited, and think "WOW!! that's awesome I bet you go there all the time" to which I must say NEGATIVE!! I don't, however I should. The beach is called Sylvan, and I still remember the first time I ever went to Sylvan. I was helping my church with a parade in the summer of 2007, and after the parade I decided to go with a few friends, and church members over to Sylvan. Now I was excited to see this beach, and like most of you would be upon hearing that a beach is 5 minutes away I was pretty pumped about it. I drove up to the beach, and to my utter surprise it was a disastrous. I just could not believe they actually called this a beach. The water was murky, the walls were about to fall down, the dock that people walked on looked super sketchy, and to top it off HUMIDITY!. After that time I can literally count the times I have been back to Sylvan, and after hurricane Ike it got worse. Earlier this year I went to the beach late in the evening just to relive some old memories, and I noticed some changes taking place at Sylvan. I didn't think much about it...I went on with my life, and didn't return. That is till about two months ago...I was on my way to church when I realized how early I was. To kill some time I got some food to go, and decided to go by the beach and eat my food. As I drove up to the beach I was stunned at what was before me. In front of me stood a whole need Sylvan beach completely transformed, and beautiful, and leaving up to the potential it could be living up to. I parked my car, and took it all in. I looked out to the horizon and my thoughts started to wander, and I thought to myself only the engineers, and planners could have seen this. Only they could have imagined such a run down beach into something more aesthetically pleasing to all and bring it to life. Which lead me to think about two people in my life and those two are the people I call my Houston parents. I look at them as I look at the planners, and engineers or Sylvan. The reason being they see a beautiful beach in every Sylvan. I might look at you and say "hopeless" or "wow is this what you call a beach" but they say "a new paint job here, new docks, new wall and you'll be good as new". I thank God for these people, because they saw a beautiful beach in me when all I considered myself as was another Sylvan.

OLD SYLVAN (This is me being kind with the pictures)

NEW SYLVAN

The beach truly is BACK...granted I don't know the engineers, and planners of Sylvan Beach...I know these two...

Houston Mom

Houston Dad

Their Words Are Not My Reality

One of the shows I watch on MTV (Renamed RTV=Reality Television) is 16 and Pregnant. One thing I always hear from the young mothers is this saying "I love being a mom, but it's not as easy as I thought it would be". Got me thinking how easy do you think it is to take care of another life form, and completely dedicate yourself to them? I mean I an 24 and I think it would be hard for me to take care of a child being in my age group, but whatever it is here nor there nor is it the reason I got on here.
Well guys it happen Saturday and I have pictures to prove it...

Mark, Me, and Chevy

One of my best friend

Being out usual selfs

My big brother

My mother

Whitney & I

My father & I

Opening my 50mm lens :-)

I'm so sad I just realized I didn't take any pictures with my Houston parents :(...what the heck!!!! Who does that!?

So I want to share a story with ya'll. I forgot all about this story till a few weeks ago when it randomly popped up in my head, and I just couldn't believe I used to believe this, and this morning I got a chance to share it with my Houston mom. Where to start where to start? OK so we were talking about word curses, and how people can't just decide who is going to be prosperous, and forward word curses. Side note: that's not exactly what she said, but the general concept was around there. Growing up I used to think I was a curse or bad luck charm to others, and my family actually made me believe that. Growing up my big brother was everyone's favorite. On my dad's side of the family he was the first born male and my mom's side they liked him (not to say they didn't like me, but my brother was preferred over me) He got to take trips, and do things that I was not allow to do, and I do not hold any of this against him. I love him dearly, and he is one of my best friends to this day. Even though both sides of the family are Christians, Indians are still very superstitious. Every New Years day they believe that the first person that steps into their house makes all the difference. So every New Years morning they made sure my brother was the first to enter anyone's house, because he had some sort of luck to him, and that him being the first person in their house will bring them a prosperous year. On top of that people exchange money, and usually my brother had the fortune of always being the first person to hand money to my aunts, cousins,grandmother and mom. No one ever asked me in those years to be the first one to step into their house New Years day or give them money. They even made comments saying that having me around wasn't the best of luck...so I grew up accepting that I was bad luck. I remember one particular time I was at my aunt's business just checking it out, and later on that night someone vandalized the whole store. I heard the story the next morning, and my first thought was "Oh GOD! I hope they don't remember I was at the store yesterday I know it was because I was there". I stayed towards the back of the room so they wouldn't say anything, but of course my aunt said something to the affect of me being in the store, and of course it all made sense to them then. Anytime something bad happen I just blamed myself, because I was somewhere near by...even as a teenage and in my earlier 20's if something happen to my friends or family I thought to myself "It's because of me...I carry bad luck with me, and people around me are effected". So sometimes I just avoided being around people if one bad thing happen to them.

I carried around this stigma with me for 20 something years, and I can't believe I let it get that far, and let others make me believe that I was the reason for things going wrong on my life. Truth of the matter is others words do not make me...nor do their curses break me. I guess the reason I am writing this whole entry is because I know I'm not the only person who has ever had to deal with something like this in their life. I'm just here to say...they're all dead wrong! You are a blessing!!!, and people should feel blessed to have you in their lives. God didn't create you so others can say "oh what a bad luck charm" he created you in his glory and for his glory. He made NO mistakes when he thought of having you come into this world. Keep living life, and keep living it right, and one day who knows maybe the ones the called you a curse/bad luck will be the ones asking for a simple blessing or two. When that moment comes keep the humility of Christ and help all those in need, and if that moment never comes know that you have people in your life that appreciate you and love you just for who you are, and THINGS HAPPEN! That in itself is inevitable.

Mark's Commissioning Ceremony

See the full gallery on posterous

I didn't have my regular camera and of course my blackberry had to act like crackberry today...SMH!!! 

YAY For Marc & Liz

4 1/2 Years In A Bag

As every semester comes to an end I make it a point to go through my notes, and backpack and throw everything I will never use in the garbage. It' s a bit of a liberating feeling...knowing that you have successfully finished what you set out to do and all. I try to sell most of my books because I hate the piling up. Unfortunate for me I didn't get to re-sell a lot of books in the past four years because they were limited editions or I borrowed them. The ones that I did bother to buy pertained to my major and one day I want to add them to my "library". This past week I decided to move all my extra stuff back to my home town where a nearly empty closet awaits me. So as soon as I got home I started packing my books so I can sent it back with my family when they come in this weekend. The ones set aside on the floor are the ones I need to return to folks tomorrow because I borrowed it from them ages ago.So here it is ladies and gentlemen....41/2 years worth of education bagged away in three bags. It's a bitter sweet moment...it makes me wonder if I will be bagging the rest of my stuff in the near future. Well if that moment comes across in my life I will be sure to blog, and add picture illustrations. I'm not the type to disappoint when it comes to picture illustrations. :-)

Red Light....Green Light

I was sadly mistaken this is my true 30th blog. I had a non-published blog that made it seem like I had more blogs than I actually did.

Well today was graduation rehearsal, and for a good chunk of it was a waste of time. I've always wondered why they tell graduates to tell our families to be not too loud. Did they forget that most of them have waited over 4 years for this moment, and some of them probably took out a second mortgage to put that child through college.Personally I would bring a whole marching band with me if it were my kid graduating.

Anyways I was driving to rehearsal and for the first time I wasn't in a hurry to get to my destination. I was probably going below speed limit. I took the normal route, and exited MacGregor. I turned on my blinkers to get on North from South, and I saw that the light I usually stop at is green. Any other day I would speed towards that green light, and make a turn just as it went from yellow to red. As I mentioned before I was in no hurry today. I saw the green light and kept driving as slow as possible. Usually this light turns colors very quickly, but today as I approached it, it stayed green through out. I was about to make the turn way before it turned yellow. As I made another turn headed towards Blodgett, I had to smile because I realized that light represented so much of my life. Usually every morning I'm rushing to make that light because I don't want to get stuck at the red light. In the process of doing so I catch it midway between yellow and red. But today I drove without a care in the world, and told myself I will let nature take it's course, and it's like nature waited for me.

Far too often we rush after our goals because we don't want to pump a brake in our plans. We rush, and catch the yellow light transitioning to red. We know it's not good because your car was rushed, and you know the turn could have been much smoother instead of things flying all over your backseat and purse on the floor. But we do it anyways...then there are moments like today....when you say..."hey I'll get there when I get there...no rush" It's like the whole world kind of waits for you saying...okay it's your turn...you make that turn...no flying object in the car, and no feeling of rush.

My life needs to be more about those moments where I am just taking it easy, instead of rushing through it and not enjoying the the ride along the way. I mean who cares if I have to sit at the red light for a few mins or not as long as I arrive at my destination right? Plus something tells me my car will be very thankful if I do less of that.

So guys and girls, and kids of all ages this is my prayer request: Pray that I don't rush through life, and end up missing what I needed to learn along the way. Pray that I always see it's not how fast I get to my destination, but getting there in one piece that matters the most, and more over I accomplished what I really needed to accomplish. So that's that ladies and gentlemen...that's the lesson God taught me today....through a simple traffic light. It was worth wasting my time at grad rehearsal.

30th Post

I've been living in this big city for four and half years, and I have NEVER visited it's zoo. So today my best friend and I trekked on a journey to our local zoo. See the closer we get the graduation the more time we try to spend with each other. We don't need a reason we just know that in a few days all this will change, and that time with each other will be far and few in between. To top it all off today was a free day at the zoo...you really can't beat good weather, best friend, and free pass to the zoo. It was a rather quite day, even the animals looked bored. Afterwards we went to Hermann Park to take a stroll and just chillax before decided to call it a evening and head back home...here are a few shots from our trip

GOD holds the whole world in HIS hands....

My best friend of 4 1/2 years :)

This is his "Yea you want me don't you look" lol

I'm laughing at the fish IDK why I found them so amusing

Explains us on so many levels

If you guess who is he trying to impersonate you get a ......ummm

My fave stone so far...

So I just started another blog on posterous (SMH it's like a darn addiction hahah) and Welcome to blogger Mr. Benton....glad to have you on board :-)