I was going to wait and blog this till my wordpress account was fully set up, but I can't hold it in. I have to write and I have to write right now (hehehe).
2012 has been one of the toughest years of my life. In my opinion tougher than 2010. 2010 was a year of testing and trials, but the latter half of 2010 was not as painful as the beginning. However, in 2012 I have in silence walked through many painful days, and slept in my own tears. I wanted to give up, give in, throw in the towel, and turn the other way. I no longer wanted to fight. I just wanted to be your average church going, working, pays my bills on time, has a few friends kind of gal. I believe in my heart of hearts that GOD has a special assignment for me that only I can finish. And because of that being an average church going, working, bill paying citizen wasn't in the agenda. If anything my life has been, and continue to be anything but average. I have felt loneliness, sadness, bitterness, fear, anxiety, and rejection to whole different level.
So yesterday as I battled another round of wanting to run away, but knowing better GOD brought this verse to me as I as looking for another verse during Bible study.
Luke 22:31-34
King James Version (KJV)
31 And the Lord said, Simon, Simon, behold, Satan hath desired to have you, that he may sift you as wheat:
32 But I have prayed for thee, that thy faith fail not: and when thou art converted, strengthen thy brethren.
I read it in a few different versions before I settled on the KJV version, because that's the version that almost had my jaw on the floor waiting to be picked up. As many times I've heard that verse I remember the part where Jesus warned Peter about the desires of the enemy. I've always thought it was a beautiful verse. Like a parent to a kid he warns him about what is in store, but he says "I won't ask for that test to go away, but my biggest prayer is that when you go through that test that you hold onto your faith". How beautiful is that? How parent like is that just one comment from Christ to Peter? Growing up in an Indian household I know all about sifting wheat. It gets tossed around pretty harshly, and shaken up heavily. Quite frankly I don't think I would really want to be a wheat in that process. But as a Christian it's pretty much inevitable. But often times as we go through struggles in life our prayer is for the struggle to go away, not for our faith to hold on and grow stronger. We want the shakes, and tremors to stop. We want to reach our destination before our preparation.
Now what really made me almost do a flip while reading this verse isn't GOD's warning to Simon, but the very last part of it.... "....and when thou art converted..". SAY WHAT!!?? Converted?? GOD what you mean converted? This is one of your disciples. He has walked with you, and been with you in uncomfortable places. He has seen the miracles you have performed...so what exactly do you mean converted? It wasn't that Peter was a non believer. A man that was just going with the crowd because a man claiming to be the Messiah was with him, and everyone seems excited about him so let me join the party kind of guy. You see Peter still had a process he had to go through. As much as he loved Christ, and would be a bad somebody for the Kingdom he had some maturing to do. The whole time he was a disciple GOD knew this. He knew that Peter would be the first one to jump off and cut someone's ear off, but just hours later be afraid to even claim to be a disciple.
Christ invited Peter to walk with him knowing that he needed some work. He invited Peter knowing exactly where he was in life. He could have felt disqualified....counted himself out, but who isn't disqualified? Which one of us does not need a little conversion? But the beauty of it is.....Christ is inviting us knowing that we need that conversion. There is only one more thing he added to this "strengthen thy brethren". Every little "glitch" that he fixes....every conversion that happens...remember it is not only to teach you something, but it is to strengthen your brethren.
It's just blows me away that a man that walked so closely with Christ. A man who was discipled by GOD manifested in flesh after all that time still needed to be converted. Got me to thinking "Who am I to think I don't need it?"
Now what really made me almost do a flip while reading this verse isn't GOD's warning to Simon, but the very last part of it.... "....and when thou art converted..". SAY WHAT!!?? Converted?? GOD what you mean converted? This is one of your disciples. He has walked with you, and been with you in uncomfortable places. He has seen the miracles you have performed...so what exactly do you mean converted? It wasn't that Peter was a non believer. A man that was just going with the crowd because a man claiming to be the Messiah was with him, and everyone seems excited about him so let me join the party kind of guy. You see Peter still had a process he had to go through. As much as he loved Christ, and would be a bad somebody for the Kingdom he had some maturing to do. The whole time he was a disciple GOD knew this. He knew that Peter would be the first one to jump off and cut someone's ear off, but just hours later be afraid to even claim to be a disciple.
Christ invited Peter to walk with him knowing that he needed some work. He invited Peter knowing exactly where he was in life. He could have felt disqualified....counted himself out, but who isn't disqualified? Which one of us does not need a little conversion? But the beauty of it is.....Christ is inviting us knowing that we need that conversion. There is only one more thing he added to this "strengthen thy brethren". Every little "glitch" that he fixes....every conversion that happens...remember it is not only to teach you something, but it is to strengthen your brethren.
It's just blows me away that a man that walked so closely with Christ. A man who was discipled by GOD manifested in flesh after all that time still needed to be converted. Got me to thinking "Who am I to think I don't need it?"
