How is it that your life can change so much and still feel like it's the same.
A friend of mine texted me today and as we were catching up I reminded her that her one year wedding anniversary is coming up. Then I thought back to to year ago, and I felt a bit sad. Since then not only did my brother get married, so did this friend of mine, and my best friend. In the outer corner of marriage I stand. I've never had a problem with being single, but why is that married people make you feel like you don't belong with them sometimes. Right before my bff got married I started to sense change in our relationship. The way we communicated, how much we communicated, what we talked about etc. She went from the girl I always called to the girl who barely knows what's going in my life. I keep hearing she's busy, and I get frustrated, and I express my frustration, but we fall back into the same limbo a few weeks after the talk.
I'm not married, so someone please tell me why is that once you are married (and have been married for awhile) you can't talk to your friends. Make time for them. I totally get that your priorities change, and I don't mind being shifted in schedule, but what am I to do when I'm not in the schedule at all? I remember thinking once that if I were to move back home it would probably because of my bff. So I can be closer to her....now I think...who am I going to move back for? Where would I fit in? If I wanted to go to work and back to my own place...well I do that in Houston...I don't need to drive another 41/2 hours to do the same thing in another city.
Wednesday, June 27, 2012
Monday, June 25, 2012
Oh Honey!
Sometimes working around my boss I feel like I work at a zoo...LITERALLY! My boss is no stranger to animal...cats, dogs, birds, mini ponies, llamas....I KID YOU NOT! Working with her I most times tend to encounter a cat or two.
I love her animals FOR THE MOST PART. One of my favorites is her cat Honey. Honey is very lovable, but at the same time she is VERY clingy. Honey often visits me in my office, and lays around. I often joke around and say "In my next life time I'm coming back as one of the bosses pets". Every time I see every single one of her pets they are just lounging around, enjoying the day, taking in the sun etc. I can't help but be a bit envious. Now you know you have hit rock bottom when you are a bit envious of a cat. I thought "WOW they have it made...they don't have to worry about a thing"
Cue scripture reminder from GOD:
I love her animals FOR THE MOST PART. One of my favorites is her cat Honey. Honey is very lovable, but at the same time she is VERY clingy. Honey often visits me in my office, and lays around. I often joke around and say "In my next life time I'm coming back as one of the bosses pets". Every time I see every single one of her pets they are just lounging around, enjoying the day, taking in the sun etc. I can't help but be a bit envious. Now you know you have hit rock bottom when you are a bit envious of a cat. I thought "WOW they have it made...they don't have to worry about a thing"
Cue scripture reminder from GOD:
25 “Therefore I tell you, do not worry about your life, what you will eat or drink; or about your body, what you will wear. Is not life more than food, and the body more than clothes?26 Look at the birds of the air; they do not sow or reap or store away in barns, and yet your heavenly Father feeds them. Are you not much more valuable than they? 27 Can any one of you by worrying add a single hour to your life[e]?
28 “And why do you worry about clothes? See how the flowers of the field grow. They do not labor or spin. 29 Yet I tell you that not even Solomon in all his splendor was dressed like one of these. 30 If that is how God clothes the grass of the field, which is here today and tomorrow is thrown into the fire, will he not much more clothe you—you of little faith? 31 So do not worry, saying, ‘What shall we eat?’ or ‘What shall we drink?’ or ‘What shall we wear?’32 For the pagans run after all these things, and your heavenly Father knows that you need them. 33 But seek first his kingdom and his righteousness, and all these things will be given to you as well. 34 Therefore do not worry about tomorrow, for tomorrow will worry about itself. Each day has enough trouble of its own.
As I watched Honey sa-shay out of my office I thought....how much more valuable are you? He's already told me I am far more valuable than the bird or a cat, but I sit here worrying day in and day out. How am I going to pay this bill? Do I have enough clothes for this occasion? What am I gonna eat for dinner?
Why? Obviously Honey got a revelation that took me way longer.
Friday, June 22, 2012
Hands & Feet
How many times have you heard the saying "To be the hands and feet of Jesus"
How many songs is it written in?
Now how many times have you or I actually taken the effort to make it happen.
The other day I was driving with an acquaintance, and we got on the subject of exclusivity. We were talking about church of course. In the past 15 years I have gone to 5 different churches (on a somewhat regular base), and visited way too many to count. In those years I think of all the exclusivity that went on with each church. Now if was a majority Caucasian church I won't lie they were pretty open, and welcoming, but if it was a minority church my brother and I weren't so lucky. After service he and I would stand in the corner while mom and dad talked to aunties and uncles. We hated visiting certain (ethnic group) churches with them, but there was one Indian church that actually left an impression on my life. To this day I can't recall the name of the church or of the girl who left this impression, but because of her I do certain things differently now. As usual my parents were gallivanting around talking to everyone while my brother and I stood aside wondering when this ordeal will be over. Under our breathe we kept telling each other how much we disliked situation like this when our parents dragged us to minority churches where no one even so much as said "hello" to us. As we stood there we were approached by a young lady a few years older than me, and she smiled so big it made me feel a little better. She introduced her and asked us about ourselves. That in itself was a huge ice breaker now the next step wasn't necessary nor were we expecting it. She called over all her friends within our age group and started introducing my brother and I to them. You see she could have just introduced herself been nice and moved on with her life, but she made sure she went beyond just being "nice". Because she did just that I made sure I started to do that myself. I would have never met my now famous "ex-husband" (not really married) Brice had it not been for that act. Brice came to visit the Indian church I was attending at the time. All the females I hung out with were just gushing over how cute he was. After service I told them well go talk to him, but none of them wanted too. I looked over at Brice and he had a look on his face that I knew all too well. Without a bit of hesitation I walked over to him and introduced myself, because I knew exactly what it felt like to come to a church where you knew nothing or no body. After a few mins the rest of the ladies walked over, and I introduced them to him. Though we don't talk every week like we used too, or text each other as often as we used too the reason I know him today is because I decided to extend the same hand that was extended to me. To this day because of that girl I make it a point to either smile or say hello to anyone I see at church that I have not seen around before. Unfortunately to this day the very people that say they want to be the hands and feet of Christ still hold on to their exclusivity. For example; the church I currently attend. I love my church dearly, but I remember when I first came there no one in my age group so much as looked my way. I would come to church sit in the back pew and go home. Six years later I'm not going to lie I still feel the exclusivity. Now I know people, but really that's the end of the it. So many times it has taken much prayer for me not to leave, and go to a church where I did feel like people were more open to me (but I digress)
The one thing I've learned (recently) is that when you are the hands and feet of Christ you have to put yourself in a position that would possibly make you uncomfortable. That means you have to reach out, and bring people into your circle. UNFORTUNATELY I've also learned in the last couple of years that most people already have their circle, and it's very rare for them to let any one else in (Oh GOD it's high school all over again!!!). The truth of the matter is a lot of people feel justified in how they treat this situation. They say "well I'm not the type of person to really reach out". Neither am I *points to self*. But then who's going to do it? If you and I don't....who's going to be that CITY ON THE HILL??
How many songs is it written in?
Now how many times have you or I actually taken the effort to make it happen.
The other day I was driving with an acquaintance, and we got on the subject of exclusivity. We were talking about church of course. In the past 15 years I have gone to 5 different churches (on a somewhat regular base), and visited way too many to count. In those years I think of all the exclusivity that went on with each church. Now if was a majority Caucasian church I won't lie they were pretty open, and welcoming, but if it was a minority church my brother and I weren't so lucky. After service he and I would stand in the corner while mom and dad talked to aunties and uncles. We hated visiting certain (ethnic group) churches with them, but there was one Indian church that actually left an impression on my life. To this day I can't recall the name of the church or of the girl who left this impression, but because of her I do certain things differently now. As usual my parents were gallivanting around talking to everyone while my brother and I stood aside wondering when this ordeal will be over. Under our breathe we kept telling each other how much we disliked situation like this when our parents dragged us to minority churches where no one even so much as said "hello" to us. As we stood there we were approached by a young lady a few years older than me, and she smiled so big it made me feel a little better. She introduced her and asked us about ourselves. That in itself was a huge ice breaker now the next step wasn't necessary nor were we expecting it. She called over all her friends within our age group and started introducing my brother and I to them. You see she could have just introduced herself been nice and moved on with her life, but she made sure she went beyond just being "nice". Because she did just that I made sure I started to do that myself. I would have never met my now famous "ex-husband" (not really married) Brice had it not been for that act. Brice came to visit the Indian church I was attending at the time. All the females I hung out with were just gushing over how cute he was. After service I told them well go talk to him, but none of them wanted too. I looked over at Brice and he had a look on his face that I knew all too well. Without a bit of hesitation I walked over to him and introduced myself, because I knew exactly what it felt like to come to a church where you knew nothing or no body. After a few mins the rest of the ladies walked over, and I introduced them to him. Though we don't talk every week like we used too, or text each other as often as we used too the reason I know him today is because I decided to extend the same hand that was extended to me. To this day because of that girl I make it a point to either smile or say hello to anyone I see at church that I have not seen around before. Unfortunately to this day the very people that say they want to be the hands and feet of Christ still hold on to their exclusivity. For example; the church I currently attend. I love my church dearly, but I remember when I first came there no one in my age group so much as looked my way. I would come to church sit in the back pew and go home. Six years later I'm not going to lie I still feel the exclusivity. Now I know people, but really that's the end of the it. So many times it has taken much prayer for me not to leave, and go to a church where I did feel like people were more open to me (but I digress)
The one thing I've learned (recently) is that when you are the hands and feet of Christ you have to put yourself in a position that would possibly make you uncomfortable. That means you have to reach out, and bring people into your circle. UNFORTUNATELY I've also learned in the last couple of years that most people already have their circle, and it's very rare for them to let any one else in (Oh GOD it's high school all over again!!!). The truth of the matter is a lot of people feel justified in how they treat this situation. They say "well I'm not the type of person to really reach out". Neither am I *points to self*. But then who's going to do it? If you and I don't....who's going to be that CITY ON THE HILL??
Thursday, June 21, 2012
This is just a super random post that has nothing to do with anything important.
So I have this acquaintance I can't quite call him a friend, because we don't really hang out like friends or talk like friends. We have each others phone numbers, instagram, facebook etc but we're not buddy buddies. One thing that almost immediately attracted me to him (as a "friend") was his smile, and what a sweet heart he was. He was pleasant to be around, and though there were hints that he could possibly find me attractive (and weren't for this now ex girl friend) he never really made me feel uncomfortable in his presence. I do respect men who hold that quality. Any ways as I got to know him I came to find out that his father off the celebrity type. As time passed on we stopped seeing each other frequently (mostly because I stopped mentoring w/ him and then graduated). I would randomly text him here and there and encourage him to stay in school which was a bit hard for him because he was constantly traveling with this father world wide. He got married and is now expecting his first child (which he didn't tell me about either until much later...ummm I thought we were better than that dude *end rant*)
As I've followed him via facebook and Instagram I've started to notice things that kind of put me off. All of the sudden he seems a bit rude in certain circumstance, he seems braggish, and I think to myself "what are you bragging about? You're practically riding your dads coat tail". I think if it weren't for his father and his celebrity status would you be where you are and do that things you are doing? Then a new thought came about "Was he always this way, and I just didn't see it or is this a new thing that has emerged as popularity has gone up?"
So I have this acquaintance I can't quite call him a friend, because we don't really hang out like friends or talk like friends. We have each others phone numbers, instagram, facebook etc but we're not buddy buddies. One thing that almost immediately attracted me to him (as a "friend") was his smile, and what a sweet heart he was. He was pleasant to be around, and though there were hints that he could possibly find me attractive (and weren't for this now ex girl friend) he never really made me feel uncomfortable in his presence. I do respect men who hold that quality. Any ways as I got to know him I came to find out that his father off the celebrity type. As time passed on we stopped seeing each other frequently (mostly because I stopped mentoring w/ him and then graduated). I would randomly text him here and there and encourage him to stay in school which was a bit hard for him because he was constantly traveling with this father world wide. He got married and is now expecting his first child (which he didn't tell me about either until much later...ummm I thought we were better than that dude *end rant*)
As I've followed him via facebook and Instagram I've started to notice things that kind of put me off. All of the sudden he seems a bit rude in certain circumstance, he seems braggish, and I think to myself "what are you bragging about? You're practically riding your dads coat tail". I think if it weren't for his father and his celebrity status would you be where you are and do that things you are doing? Then a new thought came about "Was he always this way, and I just didn't see it or is this a new thing that has emerged as popularity has gone up?"
Subscribe to:
Posts (Atom)