I sat at my co-workers desk and stared a stack of business cards. I reviewed each and everyone of them to see if they are in our system. As I got closer to the end of the pile I saw a name that was familiar. I met Monica when I was just a newbie to aviation planning, and doing my very first internship. Since then I have gone onto be with two different local firms, and Monica left for California to be closer to her husband.
As I stared at her name it stirred up something in me to examine my life in the recent years. I realized that even though Monica left a great job here in the city to move to California she went there and got herself another great job in the same field. She knew exactly what it is that she wanted, and where she wanted to be. It got me thinking about my own dreams, and I realized somewhere along the line I lost it. I often get emails from people asking me what it is that I want to do....a 5 year plan....a 10 year plan, and I can't even provide them with a one week plan except SURVIVAL. When I am job searching I don't even know what to put in as my keywords to search.
Ten years ago I thought I had it all figured out. Go to school, become a pilot, graduate college by the time I was twenty, and have a great job with a top airline by the time I am 25. Flying was all I knew....I knew that's what I wanted to do....but somewhere along the journey of college the fire started to dim a little by little. 98% of the time I am just glad to have made it in life. I didn't end up a statistic. I put myself through college, and with the GRACE of GOD have made it this far in life. Then there is that 2% on days like this that realizes that I am 25 years old, and I have no plans...no direction.....no steady job...., passion is here nor there. and def not an airline job flying all over the world.
Maybe it's the fact that I don't even have a direction or an idea of a direction in which I want to go in. If I knew of this is the path I want to go in or this is where I see myself then the misery of how I feel right now would be eased, but I have zero clue. So when my parents ask me what my plans are for a masters program I mumble some answer that will keep them off my case for a while. When people ask me how my job search is going I don't know how to tell them I don't even know where to begin my search. Or maybe the fact of knowing that I am 25 and I am still living with my parents would slightly diminish if I had a clue and soon won't be imposing on their lives.
Should I say c'est la vie!? Sleep it off and hope for a better tomorrow......I think so...because life goes on.
