Something Beautiful

So my lack of updates have been due to my busy schedule, maybe a lack of actually wanting to do it. These last couple of months have been just something beautiful. A type of joy entered my life that hasn't been there before and I'm wondering what took me so long to get here especially since it as a mind over matter...well matter hahahah. Today I got the best compliment I could ever receive from anyone. As long as I have known my Aunt she's here and there told me I was a pretty girl, but today she just looked at me said "You look really pretty....you're glowing....are you in love?" Hahaha at that moment it dawned on me that I was so happy even people around me could see it in me. The truth is I am in love..I'm in love and it feels like the first time...I'm happy...and it does get sweeter with each passing day. I'm in love with my life, myself and most importantly God. Everything I went through these past couple of years seem like nothing now that I am here, and I'm only here by grace.

The Facebook Epidemic

On Wednesday I sent out a mass text message to my friends saying it was national fast from Facebook day. Some replied saying "Yes I can do that" while others just simply made me laugh out loud. One of the many hilarious replies I got included "Nooooo where is the unlike button" to which I replied " This is real life sweetheart there is no unlike button".

I've been thinking for days how much Facebook has really taken over our lives. I sent out this text around eight something Wednesday morning, and so many people have already logged onto Facebook before 9 am. That kind of blew me away... Facebook was accessed before our prayers were said, Facebook was accessed before our first cup of coffee, or before we even brushed our teeth...that's how relevant Facebook has become in our lives.

One thing I've been wanting to do for a little over a year now was to deactivate my Facebook account and focus on what's important. I never could do it...I was always scared...I was afraid of not being in touch with people...or loosing pics that I've posted on there since 2006. I had reasons after reasons to not let go. But I've had even more reasons to let go...like all the dramatic folks that have joined the last year or so. My relationship with Christ being put on the back burner or even how many times during a study session we all take for Facebook break.

Well I was really brave this morning. I got up and I determined that I was going to deactivate my account for the rest of the semester. I was doing it first thing Monday morning, but as I walked around the house this morning I thought to myself "why wait till Monday when you can do it right now?" I mean my email account is connected to my BlackBerry which mean Facebook alerts come straight to my inbox, which compels me to check it perhaps during the sermon, why let something distract me I'm going to let go anyways. So..I did...at around 8 something this morning...I the slight Facebook addict hit the deactivate button. I'm not swearing off Facebook forever by any means, but until graduation I must...19 hours, a demanding part time job, and trying to keep my relationship with Christ stable that's more than enough on my plate...I don't need anymore distractions.

I'm really proud of myself, all I could do my text message my two best friends and tell them of my good news :-). YAY ME!!!!!

Me ME MMMEEE!!!!!!!!!!

So in four months I am too walk to one of the most famous tunes in America "Pomp & Circumstances". I am so very excited! yet nervous at the same time. This graduation is a huge deal to me even bigger than high school, because I'm the one who almost didn't make it. I almost gave up on college, almost dropped out, almost thought it wasn't for me...years later here I am graduating in the top 15% of my class. No one will quite understand the struggles I put up with because when they saw me they didn't see struggles they saw a constantly smiling face. They didn't see the girl who wasn't quite sure if she was going to make it they saw a girl who skipped every step of the way.

This is the first time in my life I have no idea what's going to happen to me after graduation. There is no plan....graduate school? continue in the corporate world? live overseas for a while? There's beauty in this yet it's pushing beyond my comfort zone. See the beauty of it all is my faith says "you father hasn't taken you anywhere you weren't supposed to be and you've made it all the way through here with his help" comfort zone says "Plans plans PLANS!!!!! What if you missed your sign you idiot" HAHAH!

Well my true reason for writing this blog is to ask...when I pray it seems like it's me always asking God to show me the next step. Everything else isn't as important...it's almost a self centered prayer...is that selfish of me? I mean my faith has taught me that I am the apple of his eye and he's waiting for me to ask, but at the same time...do I always ask? Am I being selfish when the one thing that concerns me the most is my plans after graduation? Everything else is a oh bless them be with them..help them Lord, BUT show me, guide me, help me....

The Essence of Eden

An acquaintance asked for help with her portfolio, and I had such a blast doing this...Thanks for thinking of me!!!!. We used a point and shoot till the photographer came....Enjoy

For Every Mountain....

Most often we walk around with scares of hurt like badges. We want people to see it, we want people to know someone hurt us, we’ve been dropped and we live in self pity. Hey been there done that probably have a few t-shirts to prove my visit, but let’s stop for a minute and reverse how we deal with hurt. Instead of looking at hurt like a fresh never healing wound let’s look at hurt as an opportunity for growth.

Let’s turn around, and let’s look at everyone that’s hurt us in the past. Mom, dad, family member, the supposed love of your life, the friend that was never supposed to drop you, the preacher that led a double life. Now just smile at them and wave and say “THANK YOU”. Thank you for dropping me not once but over and over again because each time you dropped me you showed me who was there to pick me up. You taught me who and what was worth having in my life, and when no one was around and you dropped me you gave me the will to fight my way back up.

The situation doesn't seem so bad now that it has been looked at an opportunity instead of a handicap now does it?

Enlarge my territory....

In life our goal is to progress. While progressing we obtain certain things to show our progression. As I sat around and thought one question that really hit me hard was "How can God enlarge your territory if you can't even take care of what you have now?". I looked around the pile of mess in my room and was embarrassed. Granted I've been pulling long hours at work it was not a reason for me not to put my shoes back up, straighten my closet out, and put my clothes back on the hanger. The worse part to it all every time I go into my closet I'm troubled with hmmmm what am I going to wear today. In the past couple of weeks I had to be taught that territory isn't just handed to me and that I have to show responsibility for what's already been given unto me. It's a hard adjustment I must say. As soon as come back from work it's easier to throw my clothes on my bed and say I'll hang it up in a few minutes, which turns into a few hours which eventually turns into a few days. So it started with me cleaning my room out, throwing away paper work that I didn't even need and putting my clothes back up on the hanger and putting it in my closet the same with my shoes. Again not an easy task....but I'm willing to do what it takes to enlarge what's been promised...and to show my responsibility...

The Prodigal

All of us at one point or another have heard the story of the prodigal son. As far as I was concerned it was always a story to me...never did I look into any deeper than that. Last year I went through a phase of "God why not me...I've been here waiting...asking...but it seems like you've skipped me over, and you gave it to the newbie" While driving one evening on 59 headed home probably still wondering why I got skipped over God kindly reminded me the story of the Prodigal Son. He told me Juby you're right you've been here, and you have been asking for things, but the the truth is the newbies went and sold everything they had, but now they are finally back and I'm just celebrating that. He then kindly reminded me what the son who never left still had. He still had his land....his rights...everything his father gave him, while the prodigal son who had the exact same thing went and lost it all. At that moment all I could do was laugh at my own foolishness and thank God for yet again opening my eyes to see things from his perspective.

So rejoice when your brother or sister comes back and if they seem to be getting a bit more attention that you just realize Dad's just happy to see them back, and you still have everything he has given you ;-)