Me ME MMMEEE!!!!!!!!!!

So in four months I am too walk to one of the most famous tunes in America "Pomp & Circumstances". I am so very excited! yet nervous at the same time. This graduation is a huge deal to me even bigger than high school, because I'm the one who almost didn't make it. I almost gave up on college, almost dropped out, almost thought it wasn't for me...years later here I am graduating in the top 15% of my class. No one will quite understand the struggles I put up with because when they saw me they didn't see struggles they saw a constantly smiling face. They didn't see the girl who wasn't quite sure if she was going to make it they saw a girl who skipped every step of the way.

This is the first time in my life I have no idea what's going to happen to me after graduation. There is no plan....graduate school? continue in the corporate world? live overseas for a while? There's beauty in this yet it's pushing beyond my comfort zone. See the beauty of it all is my faith says "you father hasn't taken you anywhere you weren't supposed to be and you've made it all the way through here with his help" comfort zone says "Plans plans PLANS!!!!! What if you missed your sign you idiot" HAHAH!

Well my true reason for writing this blog is to ask...when I pray it seems like it's me always asking God to show me the next step. Everything else isn't as important...it's almost a self centered prayer...is that selfish of me? I mean my faith has taught me that I am the apple of his eye and he's waiting for me to ask, but at the same time...do I always ask? Am I being selfish when the one thing that concerns me the most is my plans after graduation? Everything else is a oh bless them be with them..help them Lord, BUT show me, guide me, help me....