Long way from home

I wish I could express exactly how I am feeling right now. It's a mixture of knowing I need to heal from certain things to happiness of the journey that has taken place in my life over the years. Quite often I sit down and think how awesome God is. He took a girl from India, and brought her all the way over here. He could have brought anyone over here, but he chose me to be here...where I am.. to be surrounded by the people I am surrounded by, and it overwhelms the living life out me that I just start crying.

Lately every reading I do has been around the mind, and how to cope with the battlefield that is your mind. We all have our weak areas, but as I sat in church today thinking maybe God got the wrong girl I was reminded "God's not a liar, he used the man of God to speak things into my life" I have to walk it out.

So here starts another journey for the only man I would go gaga googoo over.

P.S- Check out my website

http://jubylaila.shutterfly.com/

The Thing about Photography

Few months back I became the proud owner of my first D-SLR. Right after buying it I went to Cali,l and I fell in love with taking pictures. I came back to TX refreshed, and full of ideas. After coming back I faced a few personal problems, and along with it went on a dry spell . I took pictures here and there, but nothing like I would have liked too. So for months there on my floor sat a very expensive camera doing absolutely nothing. Last night a good friend of mine and I decided to go shooting after saying for a few weeks now.

When we got to our destination I must say I was a bit iffy about taking pictures. I felt like my "photo eyes" were no longer with me since it has been a minute. In fact I was not liking a single s

hot I took until the sun started descending. I got my inspiration while testing my shots and here is my inspiration shot.

While it may seem like a tree to just anyone. It lead to me asking my bff to pose for me for what I

envisioning.... a few bad shots later and figuring how to work with the lighting. This is what I ended up with...

Needless to say it occurred to me you can get rusty, but if you have a creative bone in your somewhere its hard to lose it.

My model/guy that got me out there so I can get this shot!...Thanks buddy!!!

All things fall

Stanley Horowitz once said "Winter is an etching, spring a watercolor, summer an oil painting and autumn a mosaic of them all". I have always thought winter was my favorite season, please don't get me wrong it is definitely one of my favorites...especially living in the midst of all this humidity Houston has to offer I always look forward to our brief winters. The other day I was in my room and within me it felt like fall (autumn). For a minute I made the mistake of thinking the weather outside actually changed only to find out it's as hot as TX can hand it to you. The weird thing is I had that feeling two or three time within the last week. I felt the light breeze that brushes against you in a familiar way, the sun touching your face like God is saying "Good Morning", and that fresh smell of a new season. At that moment it occurred to me I LOVE FALL!!! it's the perfect mix between September weather and November/December weather. It's also a nice gentle reminder of how great God is, and how wonderful life can be if you just stop for a minute to appreciate it, and let that sun bathe you with it's morning glory.

Lalala

Lazy Labor Day....Listening to my bff, good music, skyping, but most of all just thinking....

I know it's a natural thing for people to ask what a person's next step is after graduation, but if I hear that question one more time I think I might hurt someone or at the most give someone a very very ugly look.

I have 31/2 months...in this time I have to learn to be still and listen to that still voice. Here's my dilemma I'm always too busy wondering if I missed that little voice. *sigh*

God please please please teach me to be patient when it comes to this matter and other stuff too, but especially this. Also teach me to be still, and let the fear of the unknown stay out of my life. Thank you :-)

P.S- I love you!

Something Beautiful

So my lack of updates have been due to my busy schedule, maybe a lack of actually wanting to do it. These last couple of months have been just something beautiful. A type of joy entered my life that hasn't been there before and I'm wondering what took me so long to get here especially since it as a mind over matter...well matter hahahah. Today I got the best compliment I could ever receive from anyone. As long as I have known my Aunt she's here and there told me I was a pretty girl, but today she just looked at me said "You look really pretty....you're glowing....are you in love?" Hahaha at that moment it dawned on me that I was so happy even people around me could see it in me. The truth is I am in love..I'm in love and it feels like the first time...I'm happy...and it does get sweeter with each passing day. I'm in love with my life, myself and most importantly God. Everything I went through these past couple of years seem like nothing now that I am here, and I'm only here by grace.

The Facebook Epidemic

On Wednesday I sent out a mass text message to my friends saying it was national fast from Facebook day. Some replied saying "Yes I can do that" while others just simply made me laugh out loud. One of the many hilarious replies I got included "Nooooo where is the unlike button" to which I replied " This is real life sweetheart there is no unlike button".

I've been thinking for days how much Facebook has really taken over our lives. I sent out this text around eight something Wednesday morning, and so many people have already logged onto Facebook before 9 am. That kind of blew me away... Facebook was accessed before our prayers were said, Facebook was accessed before our first cup of coffee, or before we even brushed our teeth...that's how relevant Facebook has become in our lives.

One thing I've been wanting to do for a little over a year now was to deactivate my Facebook account and focus on what's important. I never could do it...I was always scared...I was afraid of not being in touch with people...or loosing pics that I've posted on there since 2006. I had reasons after reasons to not let go. But I've had even more reasons to let go...like all the dramatic folks that have joined the last year or so. My relationship with Christ being put on the back burner or even how many times during a study session we all take for Facebook break.

Well I was really brave this morning. I got up and I determined that I was going to deactivate my account for the rest of the semester. I was doing it first thing Monday morning, but as I walked around the house this morning I thought to myself "why wait till Monday when you can do it right now?" I mean my email account is connected to my BlackBerry which mean Facebook alerts come straight to my inbox, which compels me to check it perhaps during the sermon, why let something distract me I'm going to let go anyways. So..I did...at around 8 something this morning...I the slight Facebook addict hit the deactivate button. I'm not swearing off Facebook forever by any means, but until graduation I must...19 hours, a demanding part time job, and trying to keep my relationship with Christ stable that's more than enough on my plate...I don't need anymore distractions.

I'm really proud of myself, all I could do my text message my two best friends and tell them of my good news :-). YAY ME!!!!!

Me ME MMMEEE!!!!!!!!!!

So in four months I am too walk to one of the most famous tunes in America "Pomp & Circumstances". I am so very excited! yet nervous at the same time. This graduation is a huge deal to me even bigger than high school, because I'm the one who almost didn't make it. I almost gave up on college, almost dropped out, almost thought it wasn't for me...years later here I am graduating in the top 15% of my class. No one will quite understand the struggles I put up with because when they saw me they didn't see struggles they saw a constantly smiling face. They didn't see the girl who wasn't quite sure if she was going to make it they saw a girl who skipped every step of the way.

This is the first time in my life I have no idea what's going to happen to me after graduation. There is no plan....graduate school? continue in the corporate world? live overseas for a while? There's beauty in this yet it's pushing beyond my comfort zone. See the beauty of it all is my faith says "you father hasn't taken you anywhere you weren't supposed to be and you've made it all the way through here with his help" comfort zone says "Plans plans PLANS!!!!! What if you missed your sign you idiot" HAHAH!

Well my true reason for writing this blog is to ask...when I pray it seems like it's me always asking God to show me the next step. Everything else isn't as important...it's almost a self centered prayer...is that selfish of me? I mean my faith has taught me that I am the apple of his eye and he's waiting for me to ask, but at the same time...do I always ask? Am I being selfish when the one thing that concerns me the most is my plans after graduation? Everything else is a oh bless them be with them..help them Lord, BUT show me, guide me, help me....